Afraid my Baby is not a baby anymore....

I am having one of those very tough days when I am thinking about what I have missed in Layla's life. The last trip I took she was starting to walk and the foster family even brought a sippy cup for her. I didn't use it because I just want her to be my baby yet and need to be able to give her that bottle and watch her look at me so intently. I wish I knew what she was thinking. I am missing her so badly lately that it physically hurts. She will be turning 1 in a couple of weeks and in my heart of hearts I really thought I would be spending her first birthday with her. I love this little girl so much and when people fail to understand I want to ask if they gave up their child for a year or their grandchild how would they feel. It is hard to explain because people still somehow think adoption is not the same because this child did not come out of your body. NO difference, we LOVE them the same, maybe even more because we are aware of what a GIFT we have been given. I pray this will be the week that we get the GOOD news that Layla can finally come home to be with her family........ You will hear me scream for JOY for miles and miles.